Season’s bleatings

Roland has a ‘bleat’


SHOULD I BE worried? Well there are quite a lot of things to get worried about on Xmas eve. Where-on-earth are you likely to find this or that ingredient on 24 December? Not in Braunstone Town! You can count the number of shops round here on one hand (ONE HAND!) … I imagine you get the idea.

Nonetheless, I have an urge … no! Not that kind of urge. That’s filthy!

I have an “urge” to express my gratitude to my ‘followers’ and many visitors. It hasn’t always been easy but I suspect you’ve worked that out. Storyboard4TM was a barmy idea I came up with, after I’d eloped back to Leicester to look after my terminally ill mother, or aunt to be more precise (or was she looking after me? That’s a tough one …)

There was a Christmas — the last one before my father/uncle ‘popped-his-clogs’ — and I recall my mother/aunt ringing me up — I was still in London — and pleading down the phone to me to come up to Leicester and “help out”; or to put it another way, cook something which he could just about digest. Have you ever heard or seen someone “pleading” down a phone? I really don’t think you want to.

Why ‘bloody’ me? Despite the fact I was the bastard son of my aunt’s brother’s Jewish French Communist ‘floozy’ they took me in and brought me up. It wasn’t conventional. What were you expecting? Some 19th century slush?

“conflict zones”

I was there! I was the lowest of the low — or at least that is how I was treated by certain close relatives. But I was there! It was I who arranged the various particulars; funeral arrangements (and, unfortunately, I know quite a lot about arranging funerals — journalists in ‘conflict zones’ are a speciality — I really should ‘trademark’ it), service arrangements …

Nonetheless, I have already crept around the back of my flat with my rubbish (always lots of that) and my recycling (even more of that; I could fill the paper recycling bin in a few seconds flat) and I still get asked that question. “Are you on your own this year Roland?” On the whole I think I’m relatively lucky when it comes to my neighbours. They’re not always ‘up-to-speed’ with what I do. I suspect that some of them don’t think a disabled bloke working from home — writing and editing — is a ‘proper job’. I don’t think that I’ve ever had a “proper job” — well that’s not entirely true; I did work in the Royal Mail sorting office round the back of Leicester station for two or three years — but journalism ..? It’s not a proper job is it?

I will be physically on my own but I won’t be alone. Think about it ✪

Copyright © Roland Wood for Storyboard4TM December 2014
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